Post by Eden on Dec 28, 2020 1:15:24 GMT -5
Sarah Lynn
"To this day that is what I’ve been doing however I find myself still feeling like I’m missing a piece of the puzzle that led to me ending up in here. I don’t know what it is, but I feel like I could find it somewhere in this asylum." Man, that line was where my imagination lit off. That's either foreshadowing, or it's one of those things that one writes without realizing it that winds up becoming like a prophecy. Or at least hopefully it will? The first rp was straightforward, direct, effective.
The second really took off. Seems it might've been teasing this, and I like it. Fate Changer. It's interesting, a bit different, and I like seeing a new character in the process of forging their identity-- like we're getting the origin story of a superhero as it happens this way.
Abby Evans
This was compact, but seemed well thought through. Has the writer thought of doing character development maybe? The bite size promos could be paired with something elaborating into, for example, why Mya is Abby's godmother? I mean, I'd be interested. Sanatorium is an out-of-the-box writing space when it comes to efedding, even if our characters ironically are locked up.
Mya Denton
My 'research!' reflexes were triggered in this by the questions on who Gothica is, but really, I can't fault the writer for that. Gothica hasn't given us much to reference on who she is. So taking that into context... this was pretty good for its small footprint. Mya's backstory was set up, the match was tied in, I was left wanting more. I feel like Mya gets more love than Abby? But heck, I have favorites amongst my characters, too, so no shade.
Gothica Skylight
A good chunk of information here. Not sure I bought the willpower explanation for the puzzle failure, but everything around it felt strong. Gothica's on a quest for attention, hmm? Insert plotty-fingers here.
Brian Blades
This was worth so much more than the noshow that answered it. Granted, the fault is my own, booking miscommunication here. That said? Yes, love it. I'm catching a whiff of a recycle in it, but still. The opening got a touch confusing but was decent character development. The promo was strong. I'm not sure if it's the writer or Blades himself who isn't in on what Sanatorium really is, but oh boy, there's a shock coming somewhere.
Jonathan Edwards
EDWARDS OUT OF THE GATE WITH FIRE! Some Stone Cold shit up in here. This was what I was hoping for when I arranged the ending, too. Still in contention, keep it coming! That said... "It doesn't matter what I want, as it was only the will of the management to see someone who left the Demolition Champion in darkness." How does that make sense in-character? Where there was a fight? It doesn't. I don't reward blurred realities.
Gabe Reno
... as much as I had mixed feelings about your return, I have to admit... I MISSED YOU, SIR. How do you do so much in such a small footprint jesus share the secrets what
Legion
I remembered the Legion of old. I was asked to summarize it recently... and couldn't. This is an experience unto itself, right in line with that. It's an adventure, reading Legion's stuff, but you have to commit and put in effort. Suggestion: Try to keep your writing in the same tense (past/present).
Christy Winters
It feels like I've been watching 15 minute minisodes of Christy Winters and I just experienced a full length episode. Kinda Queen of the South flavored and not gonna lie, I liked QotS and Winters as well. Suggestion: Clean up the presentation a little? Cut off some of the runon sentences, make it clearer what's spoken and what's narrative. The colorless script style isn't the best for the latter, if the writer is comfortable with quotation marks instead it might suit a no-formatting style better-- works in books, after all. Content counts for more than presentation, which is what brought this writer as high on the rankings as they've been-- but part of the rubric is Flow, and these things do help in that part.
Kiera Katharsies
Round and round Kiera's brain goes! This is something to read, though it does take commitment and effort from the reader to keep up. Cheers for a history lesson, that was before I read everything so the presentation of a refresher that wouldn't lose someone who missed it was good. All the same? It kinda feels like the writer was asleep at the wheel for this promo.
Top Five Promos of the Card
Gabe Reno, Legion, Jonathan Edwards, Brian Blades, Sarah Lynn
Rankings
1 Legion 18
2 Gabe Reno 16.25
3 Hugh Merus 16
Brian Blades 16
4 V 15.5
5 Mike Lavicle 15.4
6 Aaron Jones 15.25
7 Jonathan Edwards 15.13333333
8 Christy Winters 14.83333333
9 Phantom 14.5
10 Sarah Lynn 14.25
"To this day that is what I’ve been doing however I find myself still feeling like I’m missing a piece of the puzzle that led to me ending up in here. I don’t know what it is, but I feel like I could find it somewhere in this asylum." Man, that line was where my imagination lit off. That's either foreshadowing, or it's one of those things that one writes without realizing it that winds up becoming like a prophecy. Or at least hopefully it will? The first rp was straightforward, direct, effective.
The second really took off. Seems it might've been teasing this, and I like it. Fate Changer. It's interesting, a bit different, and I like seeing a new character in the process of forging their identity-- like we're getting the origin story of a superhero as it happens this way.
Abby Evans
This was compact, but seemed well thought through. Has the writer thought of doing character development maybe? The bite size promos could be paired with something elaborating into, for example, why Mya is Abby's godmother? I mean, I'd be interested. Sanatorium is an out-of-the-box writing space when it comes to efedding, even if our characters ironically are locked up.
Mya Denton
My 'research!' reflexes were triggered in this by the questions on who Gothica is, but really, I can't fault the writer for that. Gothica hasn't given us much to reference on who she is. So taking that into context... this was pretty good for its small footprint. Mya's backstory was set up, the match was tied in, I was left wanting more. I feel like Mya gets more love than Abby? But heck, I have favorites amongst my characters, too, so no shade.
Gothica Skylight
A good chunk of information here. Not sure I bought the willpower explanation for the puzzle failure, but everything around it felt strong. Gothica's on a quest for attention, hmm? Insert plotty-fingers here.
Brian Blades
This was worth so much more than the noshow that answered it. Granted, the fault is my own, booking miscommunication here. That said? Yes, love it. I'm catching a whiff of a recycle in it, but still. The opening got a touch confusing but was decent character development. The promo was strong. I'm not sure if it's the writer or Blades himself who isn't in on what Sanatorium really is, but oh boy, there's a shock coming somewhere.
Jonathan Edwards
EDWARDS OUT OF THE GATE WITH FIRE! Some Stone Cold shit up in here. This was what I was hoping for when I arranged the ending, too. Still in contention, keep it coming! That said... "It doesn't matter what I want, as it was only the will of the management to see someone who left the Demolition Champion in darkness." How does that make sense in-character? Where there was a fight? It doesn't. I don't reward blurred realities.
Gabe Reno
... as much as I had mixed feelings about your return, I have to admit... I MISSED YOU, SIR. How do you do so much in such a small footprint jesus share the secrets what
Legion
I remembered the Legion of old. I was asked to summarize it recently... and couldn't. This is an experience unto itself, right in line with that. It's an adventure, reading Legion's stuff, but you have to commit and put in effort. Suggestion: Try to keep your writing in the same tense (past/present).
Christy Winters
It feels like I've been watching 15 minute minisodes of Christy Winters and I just experienced a full length episode. Kinda Queen of the South flavored and not gonna lie, I liked QotS and Winters as well. Suggestion: Clean up the presentation a little? Cut off some of the runon sentences, make it clearer what's spoken and what's narrative. The colorless script style isn't the best for the latter, if the writer is comfortable with quotation marks instead it might suit a no-formatting style better-- works in books, after all. Content counts for more than presentation, which is what brought this writer as high on the rankings as they've been-- but part of the rubric is Flow, and these things do help in that part.
Kiera Katharsies
Round and round Kiera's brain goes! This is something to read, though it does take commitment and effort from the reader to keep up. Cheers for a history lesson, that was before I read everything so the presentation of a refresher that wouldn't lose someone who missed it was good. All the same? It kinda feels like the writer was asleep at the wheel for this promo.
Top Five Promos of the Card
Gabe Reno, Legion, Jonathan Edwards, Brian Blades, Sarah Lynn
Rankings
1 Legion 18
2 Gabe Reno 16.25
3 Hugh Merus 16
Brian Blades 16
4 V 15.5
5 Mike Lavicle 15.4
6 Aaron Jones 15.25
7 Jonathan Edwards 15.13333333
8 Christy Winters 14.83333333
9 Phantom 14.5
10 Sarah Lynn 14.25